January

I felt like I was dying.  That sounds dramatic, but there's no other way to put it.  My body was breaking down piece by piece. Last year I got gastritis which forced me to make medication changes that eventually caused the rheumatoid arthritis to worsen.  That change in the RA forced me to restart Methotrexate, essentially ending my quest for a second child.  Depression set in.  Migraines came on in a new way that was absolutely sickening.  All of these changes were making it difficult to work, take care of Cassie, and be an active part of my marriage, family, and friends.  Life went on but it was the most difficult time for me since 2009 when my RA had last flared out of control.  I knew something had to change, but I wasn't sure what.  I didn't want to die, but I was hoping for death.  I didn't know a way out.

The night before Thanksgiving, I ran into the head of the acupuncture practice I used to go to.  I told him that I had been meaning to call him for a year and he said well why didn't you?  I think I was so sick that I was unable to reach out.  So I vowed to get through the holidays and then call and I really did!  I went back to acupuncture in January and this started my twisty bumpy road to health and happiness.  (See what I did there?)  He was shocked that I had been going along at the level that I was.  He said he would have been taken down to his knees if his body were where my body was.  My assessment was really scary and all sorts of things were out of whack.  I started going for treatments three times a week and have continued doing so ever since.  I'm still having a very rough time, but I can tell some things are getting better.  Fingers crossed that the improvement continues...

The other day my acupuncturist suggested that I start journaling through a blog so that I can find some peace.  He also thought this could potentially help others someday, others who are going through similar situations.  There have been some dark times and if I can help someone else, I'm more than willing to do so.  During my treatment that day I came up with this silly blog name.  I'm hoping I can keep writing entries until I'm at a point where I feel like myself again.